Read this article if you find yourself in a pile of tears on the floor often… because, when we’re all honest, it happens.
The article is about a hindu goddess, Akhilanda, who derives her power from being broken: in flux, pulling herself apart, living in different, constant selves at the same time, from never becoming a whole that has limitations.
The thing about going through sudden or scary or sad transitions (like a breakup) is that one of the things you lose is your future: your expectations of what the story of your life so far was going to become. When you lose that partner or that job or that person, your future dissolves in front of you.
And of course, this is terrifying.
This sums up my days lately. Terriffied that I have not chosen the right paths and that the path to my future is now closed over and harder to find. Fingers crossed that Akhilanda can give me the strength to embrace broken and derive strength from this terrified pile of tears and turmoil.
“Life ain’t easy, life ain’t fair, a girl’s gotta fight for her rightful share. What you gonna do now that the chips are down?
Help yourself, to hell with the rest. Even the ones that love you best.
Aim for the heart, shoot to kill, if you don’t do it then another one will.
What you gonna do that the chips are down, now that the chips are down.”
– When the Chips are Down Lyrics, Anais Mitchell