Seeking a New Job that makes my Passions my Purpose

Seeking a New Job that makes my Passions my Purpose

Seeking New Job.
Category: Working with owners and companion animals to help streamline communication and improve proper behavior.
Where: No Limits in location (MUST not have breed specific legislation, I’m a proud owner of two rescued pit type dogs)
When: ASAP

Advertisements

Turning to Stone

This song strikes me like the back of a hand. It makes my heart skip beats and my chest forget to fill with air. I guess that means this song makes me forget about living and just listen. Good Enough for me…

You can only take so much
You can only take so much
Before you turn to stone

_______


“Is there no way out of the mind?” – Sylvia Plath

Teach Me How…

Did you decide to keep me waiting, what are you waiting for? Wasting time on you more than I like.
Spent picking up the pieces that you leave behind…
Stuck in your mess, wiping sweat off my brow.
Said I want to learn to love you, try and teach me how.

If being in love takes up all of your time, then why do I keep giving you so much of mine?
Say you’ll love me now. I need to love you now…

This is going to be opposite of what I want to say. Not how I want to be remembered. I wish I could just stumble upon the person who is so ready to love like I am. Fighting this fight so frequently is wearing me down. I need someone to build me up. Be my bean bag chair. Be the person I can fall into and rest. So my plea to the universe is where is he? When do I get my chance like the rest of the human race? Did I just miss my chance? Do I have to not love for the rest of my life? Wherever you are, whoever you are… I need to love you now.

Maybe I jinxed myself, or maybe I wished it away. Whatever it is, I’m ready to find out. I want a change. I want out of this town and into hugs, kisses, holds, coy smiles and winks. I guess I’m lame that way.

Stay, don’t explain why you stay. Don’t explain. If you stay, don’t explain why you stay. Just find me, when you want to find me, Say you want me badly. I’ll wait up for you to make your mind up. I’m so tired, boy wake up. Say you’ll love me now.

Image

_______

“Mad Girl’s Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a Thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”
― Sylvia Plath

Rain Cloud Rain Cloud, please stay.

Today I am oddly aware and tranquil. I hear each tick-tick-tick of the clock to my left and see the drop-drop-drop of the rain dripping from the window above the door in the office next to mine. Gem club plays in my head. Soft piano and a whispering smooth voice lulls me into sinking away from stress and melting into how little things make wonderful our day to day ritual.

It is this very sort of day that I would share with a best friend. The very friend I have in mind, however, is in the Congo. There really is no replacement for a lifelong best friend. Someone who will tell you what they think, whether it embrace and support you or smack you in the face with honesty. Too few people in the world now have this particular talent. I like to think that in everything I do I strive to say things in the most uncomplicated and honest way I can identify.

There it goes again – my soul aching.

This is another constant that I feel. Like the drops of rain or the ticks of the clock, my soul constantly whispers

‘something’s missing… something’s missing’.

I think it echoes on days like this…

Patience. Patience. Just live, learn to be with yourself and love being with your thoughts;  Continue to treat people well and something will be found eventually just as you are ready.

Image

_______

Patience with others is Love, Patience with self is Hope, Patience with God is Faith. ~ Adel Bestavros

Hope is patiently waiting expectantly for the intangible to become reality. ~ Avery D. Miller

Searching for Clarity

There is a lot inside of me.

There is no way to begin.

No words.

Yo Soy Sin Palabras.

How does one feel so obsolete?

New Years, New Tears – can it be true?

I want to fight it.

Where do I start

*pending….*

_______

Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what he loves – Blaise Pascal

 

 

Nothing New Year

Oh, our futures were written with crayons in coloring books
It was misspelled and outside the lines and we loved how it looked
Like the crooked hem of my favorite childhood dress
And the holes in your jeans from years of carelessness
I know since we’ve grown, we ache for those memories
Honestly, nothing’s even compared to you next to me, next to me

When the words came to you for the first time, you knew you were hooked
And the pride that you felt at the last page of your first book
And the bravery I forced when I sang to an audience of three
Well, it took a million wrong notes just to find a single melody and key
I know since we’ve grown we plea for clarity
Honestly, nothing’s ever made sense til you were next to me, next to me

If time is money, then I’ll spend it all for you
I will buy you flowers with the minutes we outgrew
I’ll turn hours into gardens, planted just for us to take
I’ll be reckless with my days, building castles in your name

Since we’ve grown, we long for concrete things
Honestly, nothing’s felt so sure than when you were next to me, next to me

So lets cut down the red tape and gather up the pieces of our youth
Cause there’s nothing in this world we can’t fix with some scissors and glue

Oh simple clarity, where did you go? Did you disappear or did I just cover you with snow? How much I wish that days were slow and that at night I could sleep. The days where nights were filled with dreams and future fantasies, a stark comparison to the sleepless nights and restless pondering. Happy new year. New tears. Maybe this year will host one true happy moment not soiled by deceit. I am not hopeful.

——-

20120101-214512.jpg

I am seriously considering moving into this yurt. Such a great idea. Wilderness, solitude, my animals and the musings of mother nature. beautiful freedom.
——-