I promise to write again when I find the pieces to this puzzle piece life. I seem to have lost all but one piece, and it’s the piece that the dog had in it’s mouth.. it’s soggy… you know how it goes. It’s hardly a puzzle if there’s only one portion of the picture. I am finding it awfully hard to be gracious or even introspective when my vision is not quite accurate. Right now I’d say that a strong bout of the negatives are clouding my vision entirely. I’m working on clearing the air.
ps – please look for my pieces, I’ve left them everywhere.
You know those dreams where you are falling for what seems like an eternity and then*inhale*, you jerk awake, pulse racing and every sense heightened? I feel like my life is mimicking this pattern, only in reality. Let me explain.
A few posts ago I spoke about anthropomorphic gravitational pull that some individuals possess. At this moment I feel like I have fallen back into this orbit. Such a helpless feeling to be floating around in this fashion. As much as I want to put my feet on the ground and stand upright, you know – establish outright that I have a backbone, I find myself to be mush. Friendship, relationships, they all have the potential to do this in both a healthy and unhealthy fashion. I am not sure which one this is yet.
I want to support and connect my friends. At what point do I have to stop and say ‘this is not healthy’? At what point can my friends realize that for themselves? I want so badly to shake this person and just say “can’t you see, you should be happy. You’re not happy. Stop staying in something just because it’s easy.” Where’s the line?
I send this question out into the cosmic abyss… at what point do friends speak up, or shut up?
Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude… Denis Waitley
“So what I want to know is why it is that I can no longer find you, in my mind. You are still there, just, but you are there like a ghost, a will o’ the wisp. Not long ago you burned–your heart burned–in my mind like silver fire. But after that night in the inn it became patchy and dim, and now it is not there at all.”
(she) realized that she felt nothing but pity for the creature who had wanted her dead, so she said, “Could it be that the heart you seek is no longer my own?”
The old woman coughed.
The star waited for her to be done, and then she said, “I have given my heart to another.”
“The boy? The one in the inn? With the unicorn?”
“You should have let me take it back then, for my sisters and me. We could have been young again, well into the next age of the world. Your boy will break it, or waste it, or lose it. They all do.”
“Nonetheless,” said the star, “he has my heart.”
~Neil Gaiman, Stardust