Teach Me How…

Did you decide to keep me waiting, what are you waiting for? Wasting time on you more than I like.
Spent picking up the pieces that you leave behind…
Stuck in your mess, wiping sweat off my brow.
Said I want to learn to love you, try and teach me how.

If being in love takes up all of your time, then why do I keep giving you so much of mine?
Say you’ll love me now. I need to love you now…

This is going to be opposite of what I want to say. Not how I want to be remembered. I wish I could just stumble upon the person who is so ready to love like I am. Fighting this fight so frequently is wearing me down. I need someone to build me up. Be my bean bag chair. Be the person I can fall into and rest. So my plea to the universe is where is he? When do I get my chance like the rest of the human race? Did I just miss my chance? Do I have to not love for the rest of my life? Wherever you are, whoever you are… I need to love you now.

Maybe I jinxed myself, or maybe I wished it away. Whatever it is, I’m ready to find out. I want a change. I want out of this town and into hugs, kisses, holds, coy smiles and winks. I guess I’m lame that way.

Stay, don’t explain why you stay. Don’t explain. If you stay, don’t explain why you stay. Just find me, when you want to find me, Say you want me badly. I’ll wait up for you to make your mind up. I’m so tired, boy wake up. Say you’ll love me now.

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_______

“Mad Girl’s Love Song

I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a Thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)”
― Sylvia Plath

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