As I was pondering how much I missed my Spanish ear, listening to the lisps and the tongue that was used so smoothly in the language, I began to search for something to satiate my need to hear Spanish.
I found a video on YouTube, the very video attached below.
I played it in one tab of the internet while I busily returned to work. I listened, I didn’t watch.
As I allowed myself to get sucked into the words, I found that the woman sounded like she was happily in love with a man, writing him a letter, speaking to him, maybe telling him her sort of history of waiting for him… so I turned back to the channel and played the video again. This time I watched.
My imagination, my view of the world had let me to assume that she was happy, like everyone else I see on the street, not just a ‘she’ but the usual ‘we’.
I was surprised and a bit relieved to find that this was not the case… and then I felt sad. Sad for myself. Sad that I had assumed that she had to be feeling this way, thinking about it in public, when she could go home and daydream to herself. Sad that this feeling of waiting was so permeated into her life that she was on the train surrounded by people, daydreaming about a life with someone.
I don’t know how I feel about this video. There is a lot to dissect. Her core, her happiness, her image of reality, her perceptions of perfection, her own life and how it is actualized by her friends and relationships. Who is she? Is this a moment of weakness or clarity, is she pretending or is she disillusioned?
My answer, without dissecting too much from it… hard to say. I do know that she is everyone at some point in their lives… she is that little sentiment that nobody is courageous to voice. She is honest, she is humble, she is real. She is just like anybody else. She is human and she is making noise. Listen.
What do you think? Reactions?
It is loneliness that makes the loudest noise ~ Eric Hoffer