As I try to pry my hands away from my size large coffee cup I find myself emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted; an effete worker lying motionless on the line. I was up all night…
I’ve observed something over my short life so far…No matter how hard we try there are some people that we absolutely cannot pry ourselves away from. Is it that persons gravitational pull that sucks us into their orbit or is it my own bleeding, open heart? I suppose it is some combination of the two. One of my favorite words in the Spanish language is mezcla, meaning mixture. For some reason this word seems more appropriate than the English counterpart. But why do some people seem to find their way into another person’s life and just stick? You cannot shake this person, cannot ignore, cannot simply allow for a false smile and a pass on by. Why is that not enough?
I know I’ve thrown a lot of unanswerable questions out there and I also am aware that this may be a ‘just me’ thing. But why can I not drop this person. After being hurt and injured emotionally, what it the desire to continue to help? Why do I feel compelled to fix when it only keeps breaking me apart. My heart isn’t typically overly accepting and my open-mindedness only extends so far. I have no explanation other than I identify and relate on a personal level.
Why does my heart keep accepting visitors when I sometimes want so badly to close for business.