BBQ tumor

I am starting to feel like a huge science experiment. I go to doctor upon doctor, including specialists, only to be told that I need to go another route. Last week I was told that I may have a tumor in my back, right along my spine… the word malignant was mentioned. I may be wrong here, but wouldn’t you think that if you’re not certain, you probably shouldn’t speculate about the big C (and no, not the four-letter word, the six letter word).

On top of that, I pulled my rib muscle today, or at least I think I did. I tried to look it up online. For your enjoyment only, here are the first five hits I found:

1) Pork ribs, see Wikipedia

2) BBQ Rib Recipes

3) Who loves ya baby-back

4) Beef Back Ribs

5) Images for back ribs via Google

Gee, Internet. If BBQ ribs cures a strained muscle then count me out. I think my stomach condition (oh yeah, I suppose I left that out) does not appreciate the diet of a cave man. I really hoped the last surgery on my stomach was it, the visit where the doctors couldn’t really put their finger on what was wrong with me after a week of unnecessary tests, several days on the ‘no eating’ diet, a melee of doctors that communicated solely with rocks and birds, certainly not their colleagues or me – and so they just kind of threw out some educated guesses as to why my belly has become a constant source of brutal misery and sent me home. And things kind of just slowly festered, until I found myself slithering through work on my belly, pulling myself hand over hand to whatever destination because walking really hurt that much, assuring my friends that no – I’ve gotten quite used to being in this much pain so its kind of just normal now, thanks for the concern though, try not to step on me as you guys just “”walk around.”” I’m just going to roll my way to my office now where I have to sit unfathomably upright for hours and stare blankly at a (well, two) computer screens…

I’ve been on this mission to not let whatever these doctor inspired ‘educated guesses’ that are attempting to take over my life, not take over my life.

On a different note, I am making a mental note that I am evenly exchangeable with barbecue.

Here’s a little gem from my world wide web mis-communication, trust me, it’s a better photo than the alternate of stomach and back tumors!

Sooooooo Grossssssssss!


“How you think about a problem is more important than the problem itself. So always think positively.” Norman Vincent Peale


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